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 NEED A LAUGH?

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Rambo

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Age : 29
Location : (2I0) SaN AnToNiO, TeXXXass!!
Registration date : 2008-12-31

PostSubject: NEED A LAUGH?   Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:03 pm

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY

Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly
have a small present for me.

As i t turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone " Happy Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better that at least
someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'cl ock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the mea l tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do we?"

I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."


After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ..
.
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".


And I just sat there...



On the couch...



Naked.
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Rambo

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Age : 29
Location : (2I0) SaN AnToNiO, TeXXXass!!
Registration date : 2008-12-31

PostSubject: Re: NEED A LAUGH?   Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:12 pm

LOVE DRESS

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her new daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to come home.

Finally, her husband arrived home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
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Rambo

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Age : 29
Location : (2I0) SaN AnToNiO, TeXXXass!!
Registration date : 2008-12-31

PostSubject: Re: NEED A LAUGH?   Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:13 pm

A MANS NIGHT OUT

A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john.

"How did you get in here?" he asked.

"Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"
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Will

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Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-04-05

PostSubject: Re: NEED A LAUGH?   Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:20 pm

cheers cheers
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DeAthStroKe

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Location : AustiN TeXaS
Registration date : 2009-04-16

PostSubject: Re: NEED A LAUGH?   Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:36 pm

AWESOME!! cheers
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